Here lately I have noticed the way society teaches girls/ladies how they “should be”. Sadly, witnessing it makes me realize how different it was from when I was a little girl. I wish I could say I will forever be able to protect you from hatred and ignorance. I can however promise to teach you what you I would like the three of you to believe in.These days girls are taught to be as skinny as possible. If you are over weight you are almost certain to be picked on. Now a days this is what I see plastered everywhere from stores, tv, magazines, social media, etc etcI can’t even begin to tell you how sad it makes me. Obviously, it has been far too long since icons like these two lovely ladies were what people felt were healthy. (above: Rita Hayworth below: Marilyn Monroe)This is what I want you to know. I am guilty of letting society bully me in to believing I am not what I should be. I am absolutely over weight. Am I happy about that fact? Of course not! I haven’t always been the size I am today. I also am not the biggest I have ever been. I have failed miserably in every “diet attempt” I have made. When that didn’t “do the trick”, I took extreme measures. I had a weight loss surgery. Yes, I dropped 50 lbs quicker than I ever had. I am not telling you to run out and have a surgery. Quite the opposite actually. I wish I knew then what I know now. I now know I desperately want to have this lapband taken out of me as soon as my health insurance will approve it. I now know that even after I got pregnant again in 2008 and had it completely emptied that 5 years later not having had it filled again it still makes me sick. I told myself 6 years ago that I wanted the surgery so that I could be “healthy”. So that I could have more energy and have more time with all of you. But I am sure you will all remember when you are grown the look on my face when my food gets stuck. How many nights I have to walk away from the dinner table because I am sick, only to finally come back and all of you are done eating. That doesn’t feel like more quality time, it feels like I loose precious moments with my family that I will never get back. No one ever warned me what I was going to be up against. And unfortunately, it isn’t only the lapband that causes these issues. I have many close friends that have done several different weight loss surgeries and every single one of them have some different side effect from their surgeries as well. To name a few: hair loss, throwing up, excess skin after loosing weight so rapidly, and probably the most frustrating one after going through a surgery to loose weight would be weight gain! After all of these years of “dieting” and then the extreme decision to have a surgery I have finally discovered a few things. First and foremost I wish I had never had a weight loss surgery! I am not by any means judging anyone else in their decisions, this is my personal view about my situation. I feel that the reason I have never been able to loose weight and keep it off is because I was “dieting” and not living healthy! I would shed the pounds I wanted and go right back to a bad life style! I am very fortunate to have your daddy that adores me the way I am. He never fails in letting me know how beautiful he thinks I am and telling me how much he loves me daily. I now know I don’t need to be rail thin or the size I was in high school to be happy. I now realize that….A certain size or weight is no longer my goal. I don’t need to be a size 2 or 4 to be healthy. I don’t need a fad diet. I need to be healthy! I need to eat healthy. I need to live healthy! Does this mean no random stop for an ice cream with my monsters? No way! Does it mean I need to kill myself all day every single day in the gym? Nope! I just need to exercise! This is what I want for you three beauties! Live healthy! Be healthy! Be happy! Know that no matter what anyone else says you are unique, smart, beautiful inside and out, different, witty, & perfect in your own way. Know that no matter what your daddy & I will ALWAYS be here for you and will NEVER turn our backs on you. We will forever love you unconditionally! Believe in God, believe in yourself, be confident, never let anyone else’s views shape who you are! I love you more than you will ever know. Remember…When you have ups and downs that are sure to come…In your darkest hour NEVER ever give up your faith…Be full of…Never try to be something you’re not…You should always…Unfortunately…I pray that your Dad & I do a good enough job raising you that you never feel we are one of those people. We will never loose sight of how blessed we are to be your parents. Never forget…It wasn’t easy for me to share this so publicly on my blog. But I needed to do it for the three of you. I know society & the media will always paint a different picture. But I pray you girls will learn from my mistakes! Love, Mama